Guys, I’m done with Evangelicals for Mitt. I’m resigning to start a new group. Evangelicals for Mike. Mike Gravel, that is. Governor Romney can handle Senator McCain, Mayor Giuliani, and those guys by himself. After watching the Democratic debate last night, it’s clear that the best thing I can do for him (and America) is to make sure the other guys nominate their best candidate–Mike Gravel. I swear, he was really there last night, and he really said the stuff Philip Klein transcribed:
“After standing up with them, some of these people frighten me,” the former U.S. Senator from Alaksa said about his Democratic rivals at the debate held at South Carolina State University in Orangeburg. “They frighten me.”
Hey, I agree, especially since they were all fighting over who could be more in favor of surrender abroad and partial-birth abortion at home. But then it got kooky:
“When you have mainline candidates that turn around and say that there’s nothing off the table with respect to Iran. That’s code for using nukes.”
After the moderator intervened, Gravel had these words for Sen. Joe Biden:
“You have a certain arrogance. You want to tell the Iraqis how to run their country. I gotta tell you, we should just plain get out.”
Well, at least he’s honest about his desire to fly the white flag ASAP. And here’s his brilliant plan as to how to do it:
“How do you get out?” he asked. “You pass a law. Not a resolution, a law making it a felony to stay there.”
And, finally, there was this:
“We’re expanding our nukes,” Gravel thundered. “Who the hell are we gonna nuke? Tell me Barack, who do you want to nuke?”
There you have it, guys. Evangelicals for Mike. Who’s with me?
UPDATE: Here’s more on the funniest presidential candidate since Al Sharpton, from the New York Times.