The EFM Feature

As I get ready to leave for Iraq, I’m starting to feel a bit sentimental about my EFM experience so far. I’ve received an overwhelming amount of love and support from our readers, and they’ve taught me so many good things. But I’ve learned something from our hate mail as well, and I thought that I would do a public service to the unhinged and potentially unhinged among us by passing along just a small amount of that knowledge. (To be clear, I believe there is a big difference between thoughtful disagreement — which is welcomed — and just plain ‘ol hate).
And so, for those of us who are interested in a little self-diagnosis, here are some warning signs you might need to step away from the computer. If, for example:
-You start your e-mail like this: “You are a traitor to the constitution. You obviously don’t care about our country, about truth, or about life” and end it like this: “In Christ…”
-You’ve written me and said, “If you’ve ever read the constitution . . .” or “If you know anything about the law…” when you’ve never been to law school. (Hey, I’ve never told a vascular surgeon, “If you knew anything about the aorta . . .”).
-You read a blog post, google the author’s nonprofit employer, e-mail his boss, and cc every major Christian leader in America.
-You think (no, you know) the video you’ve just watched means you know more about the LDS faith than Mormon leaders.
-You see a person wearing an EFM button in a tightly packed elevator and shriek, “Are you for real!?!”
-You’ve tried to call Nancy with “a message from God.”
-And if you tried to call back.
-And tried again.
-And even found David’s number and called him and asked to speak to Nancy.
-And called him again.
-Your political conversations include analyses of which candidates are “damned.”
-Your hate-mail to EFM is longer than Bill Clinton’s first speech to the Democratic National Convention.
-You prefer politicians who disagree with you now over politicians who disagreed with you in 1994.
As I type this e-mail, I laugh at all the true-life incidents upon which it’s based. And I’m thankful that the rest of you make up for the less-than-palatable highlights. You haven’t just made it meaningful, you’ve made it fun.

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