So I’m literally watching American Idol while trying to write my next book and I look up when I hear Ryan announced three singers were about to perform, “This Little Light of Mine, I’m Gonna Let It Shine.”
The guys looked hip and cool, and I prepared myself for some sort of strange punk rock perversion of a childhood favorite. Much to my surprise, however, the guys start singing the real song — Vacation Bible School style, including the “don’t let Satan blow it out” part.
Then, to make it even more surreal, they switched over to the old gospel favorite, “Jesus on the Main Line, Tell Him What You Want.” (Including the lyrics, “If you’re sick and want to get well, tell him what you want.”)
As I was preparing to end this post and get back to writing my next book, Dolly Parton starts singing a song called “Jesus and Gravity,” which begins:
I’m to the point where it don’t add up.
I can’t say I’ve come this far with my guitar on pure dumb luck.
That’s not to say I know it all ’cause every time
I get too high up on my horse I fall.
‘Cause I’ve got somethin’ lifting me up,
somethin’ holdin’ me down.
Somethin’ to give me wings and keep my feet on the ground.
I’ve got all I need, Jesus and gravity.
But I’m as bad as anyone
takin’ all these blessin’s in my life for granted one by one.
When I start to thinkin’ it’s all me, well,
somethin’ comes along and knocks me right back on my knees.
This meant that at one point on American Idol, Dolly was singing, repeatedly, “He’s my friend, He’s my light. He’s my wings, He is my flight,” and literally shouting “Hallelujah!”
Several were crying, including Brooke White who was in the bottom three tonight. When Ryan asked her about it, she told him she was crying for several reasons — including the song about Jesus.
Anyway, this was so distracting (in a good kind of way) that I’ve successfully blown yet another perfectly good night of work.
However, if you buy my next book, and it’s all about Dolly Parton… you can’t say you weren’t warned.