The EFM Feature

Last night, I organized a group of friends to go see “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed” which was playing outside of Nashville. Knowing that “organization” is Kryptonite to me, I took pains to handle things carefully. I got reservations at P.F. Chang’s, asked the church if we could borrow the van, asked a deacon to come with us so he could drive (Paul, I would’ve asked you anyway, of course!), and asked people to meet the van at an on-the-way McDonald’s.
Six people were coming from our neighborhood — so we were to ride to the McDonald’s rendezvous together. Three of these people were new to the Zion community, and I’d looked forward to introducing them to other interesting people in our town.
When we stopped by their house, I jumped out of the van to knock on the door. Immediately, their sweet kids run out to meet me, followed by the mother-in-law who was babysitting them for the evening.
“Hello, I’m Nancy,” I said.
“I’m Nancy.”
“Really? I didn’t realize that,” I said. “We’re swinging by here, but we’re meeting the others at McDonald’s.”
“Oh? That’s nice.”
We stand. Hug kids. Smile. Stand. But my friends didn’t come out.
“Why don’t you come in?” the other Nancy offered. She was being polite, but we declined.
“Well, we really don’t have much time… We’ll just wait here.”
So we waited, and waited. We smiled some more.
“Where are you from?”
“How long are you staying?”
“How long have you been in the neighborhood?”
We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, before the other Nancy asked us once again to sit down.
We relented, and sat in the living room to exchange more pleasantries. The dog, in the meantime, had jumped up on the table and eaten the dinner the kids’ had abandoned to come meet and greet us.
“We interrupted dinner?” I asked, horrified. The kind, polite other Nancy waved it off, as if it were no big deal. That’s the way women from Texas are – gracious and kind. However, women from Tennessee are also aghast at the imposition, and we all began to wonder what was taking our friends so long.
“Well, we’re going to see a movie tonight,” I said, trying to fill in more time. “Going to see ‘Expelled.’”
“Expelled?” she asked. “That’s what Mike and Kittye went to see.”
“Went?”
“Yes,” she said. “They left a while ago.”
“They’re not in this house?”
“They went to a movie.”
She probably assumed we’d stopped by inexplicably during dinner for a visit. I apologized profusely, and we scampered off to McDonald’s where they had been waiting for half an hour with our other friends. They are new to the neighborhood and didn’t read the community bylaws which state you cannot have a front-facing garage and you must carpool when heading to the same destination.
That’s the way we do things here.
Anyway, this misunderstand confirmed what anyone who’s read my book knows. My life is a sitcom.
Alas, the movie was interesting and we had a nice evening anyway. Here’s the trailer:


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